Relationships take up time and energy, two of the most important assets of your life. Many of us hold on to relationships for too long, pouring time and energy into them long after they ought to have ended. If someone’s holding you back—or if you feel unnecessarily obligated to them—it’s going to be hard to progress.
The person you’re attracted to might not be a good match. Physical attraction is about sex drive and producing offspring, not being happy together. Being best friends with your girlfriend, however, will create a relationship that stands the test of time. Look for both: the attraction and the compatibility.
The pain of breaking up is very painful, yet the pain of breaking up 3+ years down the line will be 10x more painful. You deserve the absolute best partner in life and shouldn’t settle for anything less. Until this person arrives, focus on what matters to you.
When you have that real connection, that partnership, it strengthens every other aspect of your life. When you hit a speed bump, you’ve got someone to help you bounce back, someone to encourage you. When things are going well, you’ve got someone to keep pushing you and challenging you. It just keeps getting better and better. Often I hear from older couples in their 50s that they fell in love with each other over and over every decade. – The relationship improves with time. It doesn’t become this roller coaster of emotions where you have to fight to keep your partner happy.
Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’re enjoying the sex. If you were on an island with this person and you couldn’t have sex, would they drive you insane? Or would the relationship thrive?
If your girlfriend isn’t helping you become a better man, then you really need to reevaluate what she’s doing for you. Likewise, you should be helping her be her best self too. Young relationships are often toxic and co-dependent. That’s why they fail. They’re training fodder, and they help teach us what to avoid and what to seek.
“Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.”- Anonymous
The bottom line is to stay in the relationship that motivates you to be your best self. It’s easy to enjoy the good times, to have fun while you’re out drinking, and enjoying great sex. It’s much tougher to weather the storms of life together without turning on each other. If and when you do find someone who truly improves all aspects of your life, fight to keep her and never stop.
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