8 months into the job

If you've been following me (who cares right), you'd know that I've only entered the job market 8 months ago.
Today, I feel like penning down my thoughts on this 8 months work journey.

I remember looking forward to work in the 1st month. I slept well, go to work, learn new things, laughed, had fun, slacked a bit, and end work on time.
It was great.
Slowly (or "fastly"), work piled up.
Boss forwarded more tasks for me to do. I knew nothing. And so, I had to thicken my skin and shamelessly pester my boss for help.
I thank god that my boss is a male, and is ever so gracious to teach. He is kind and patient.
But of course, there are times when he makes me irritated, because he is not very efficient...okay, that's because he had to do so many things and barely have time to clear emails...I get it.

There came a point of time when I felt down.
Today, I felt it again.
Nothing major happened. Nobody scolded me, but I was quite affected by a girl's action.
Somehow, I felt like people don't really treat me with respect?
I feel like people aren't scared of me, or respect me because I don't look zai?
Because, I have no seh?
I just feel that people kinda look down on me, and don't think that I can make it big.

I don't know. I just feel kinda crappy today.
Low self-worth.

Another thing I dislike is my colleague. There's a particularly bitchy colleague who keeps forwarding email to do.
She's not even my boss. I don't mind helping out if she's nice. But she's not.
She has the lousiest temper and acts like a spoilt brat. She talks rudely as well.
I'm ok if she forwards things for me to take action, if she guides me.
But no, she don't.

I don't exactly hate my job. There're aspects which I love:

  1. I love what I'm doing. I think there're things that keeps me going
  2. I love some of my colleagues. At least I've colleagues whom I can go for lunch with.
  3. I love how I have some colleagues whom I can chit chat with.
  4. I like my boss, at least he guides me.
There're also aspects I dislike:
  1. I feel like I'm slightly underpaid, which I am, compared to others with the same class of honours
  2. That bitchy colleague who makes things difficult
  3. Having to deal with so much paperwork just to go ahead with something
  4. Colleagues from other departments who are unappreciative
And here are some unknowns that I'm concerned about:
  1. Does my boss really like me?
  2. Does he/she think I'm capable?
  3. Does people think I'm capable, and able to make it to a higher post?
  4. How can I portray myself to be confident, fluent and of a high-calibre?

To me, work is a way to keep my mind occupied.
It's for me to earn money. I know I won't be able to get my 1st million before I reach 30s.
This place is not to strike it rich.
I want to have a decent income to lead a comfortable life.
I do hope I fulfil my dreams.

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